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By Lisa Barry – 5th grade teacher

I haven’t always taught lessons of character in my classroom. Those lessons didn’t begin until 2003, my seventh year of teaching. They began out of necessity, in hopes of saving a life.

Every teacher hopes and prays they make a difference in the students’ lives each year. Not just in their academic or personal life but oftentimes in their character. In my 5th grade classroom in 2003, I found myself staring into the face of a 10-year-old boy who was being horribly bullied. I had disciplined a group of children several times in my class for picking on Jerad, thinking that sitting out at recess or lunch detention would end the issues. It didn’t. Their lack of character skills was far more extensive than I could have imagined.

I saw his desperation as I stood over Jerad, curled into a ball, trying desperately to disappear. I saw his hopelessness. I saw a potential suicide victim. I also saw a classmate from my past. The feelings and memories I had suppressed for almost 20 years came exploding out of those secret hiding places humans create to move past incredible pain and guilt. 

It was my junior year in a small-town Texas high school in 1984. Gary, our valedictorian-to-be, had gone home from another day of incessant ridicule, bullying, and exclusion and took his own life with a rifle. The entire community came together for his parents. Some brought dinner, and others offered their time to help clean up in the aftermath. I know this because, in a small town, everyone knows everything. These details never leave. The next day, I walked into my AP English class and sat silently with my classmates. I stared at his empty seat while our teacher quietly read “For Whom The Bell Tolls” aloud as she fought back tears. I felt she was also fighting back anger. Anger with us, his classmates. Many saw the atrocities that occurred but sat silently.  

I remembered earlier that week that I had had an opportunity to be an upstander, to say something to defend Gary when another student made a crack at his expense that sent many of the students into an uproar of laughter, but I didn’t.  He had even looked over at me, for… was it help? Was he asking for help with that look of distress?  It didn’t matter anymore. I sat silently that day. I did nothing. And now, he was gone. What did this say about my character?

The school bussed our class to the funeral. The room was so full that we sat in the foyer, listening to his service through the open doors. When it was over, and the townspeople began to file out, I felt the guilt of their stares as they went to start their cars and get in the procession to his burial plot. Their stares were so heavy my 16-year-old mind did not know how to process the guilt. So I began tucking it away into a place so deep I would no longer have to deal with it. I thought.

Fast-forward back to 2003. I am once again looking into the eyes of desperation and hopelessness. I can see Gary’s eyes begging me for help. I knew this issue was out of my league of knowledge, so I sought help from our campus counselor. I told her this wasn’t just a disciplinary issue. It’s a character issue. After sharing a lesson with the students herself, she gave me some lessons to weave into my regular lessons that would help the students understand and develop character skills that would result in a growth of empathy.

That night, I went home to review the series of lessons the counselor gave me and found myself back in the dark spot of 1984. I began to ask myself why I had not stood up for Gary when I had so many chances to do so. I wasn’t raised that way. My parents raised me with good character, yet I became a bystander. I began wondering and analyzing why many students become bystanders when tasked with standing up for what is just and right. It was my own experience and some research in the field of psychology that helped me understand bystanders. They are afraid. 

Children of all ages fear being left out – being excluded. “Feelings of disconnection can have a profound emotional impact on a person and possibly result in dangerous behavior to self or others. The experience of belonging fosters the belief that one is understood, accepted, and supported by others.” (Psychology Today, Dec. 6, 2021) When another child is being bullied or harassed, most children who choose to be bystanders do so in fear that if they speak up, they will be the next victim. I wasn’t looking to give myself an excuse by any means, but understanding the psychology of it all helped me understand my mind and the minds of the children I was teaching.

The next day, I began my first lessons in character in my 5th grade classroom. We studied children of the Holocaust in class and learned about hatred, exclusion, and intolerance from history. The students began to be enraged that a group of adults could treat children the way the Jewish children had been treated during WWII. Many students began to see themselves in these children. As a unit, we studied the concepts of perpetrators, victims, bystanders, and upstanders together. Nobody pointed fingers because all the students were invited to recall times they had participated in all the groups. 

I went first. It opened up discussions about how 5th graders could solve the bystander problem. Their solution? To reduce the occurrence of bystanders, you must grow your group of upstanders around you because there is power in numbers. They began empathizing with each other’s mistakes, realizing that a perpetrator is often just a child in pain, needing acceptance. They recognize that even Hitler started to his hatred with name-calling. Within a few years, his name-calling had escalated to ashes. They could not allow ignorance and lack of character skills to lead them down that dark path. 

They began sharing their issues, instead of ganging up on each other as they had been doing. They had developed a connection through true lessons from history. 

Since that day in 2003, I have incorporated character lessons in my 5th-grade classroom. I have been using Children of the Holocaust, Harriet Tubman, Susan B. Anthony, Cesar Chavez, and many more lessons from history, including The Trail of Tears, to develop good character skills in 5th graders. 

My students have written, recorded, and published video public service announcements to run during live video announcements aimed at sharing the lessons they have learned about character with the entire campus. Oftentimes, the PSA’s are shared to other campuses in our district. 

The character development lessons from my classroom have received much acclaim as all 3 San Antonio local television networks, our local Texas Public Radio, and multiple newspapers have highlighted the success of the character lessons in my classroom and the impact beyond the classroom. 

Teaching students how to develop character has become my life’s work. In 2018, I joined 3 – 2nd generation Holocaust survivors to write a bill making Holocaust Education in Texas mandatory in all schools and all grades. Not one of us had any experience in legislation but what we did have in common was our passion to develop character skills in our youth using lessons from history. We approached many legislatures in the following year hoping to find a sponsor. In Winter of 2019, Senator Jose’ Menendez, chose to sponsor our bill. I was asked to testify before the Senate Education Committee that Spring. Our bill passed unanimously, and was signed into law by Governor Gregg Abbott in June of 2019. 

Now all students grades K-12 in the state of Texas will learn age-appropriate lessons from the Holocaust to aid in character development in children of all ages.  Each year, during International Holocaust Remembrance Day, the State of Texas observes Texas Holocaust Remembrance Week in all public schools grades K-12. I am a member of the Texas Holocaust Remembrance Week Education Committee. We meet monthly and plan lessons, interactive tours of the Holocaust Memorial Museum in San Antonio, and book guest speakers for virtual attendees during the week of remembrance. Last year, over 20,000 teachers and schools joined our live and recorded broadcasts. We continue to add schools, curriculum, speakers, and tours to allow each Texas child to develop good character skills that will stay with them throughout their lifetime.

I still see Gary’s pleading eyes in my students’ faces every year. But now, I know I have skills to share with them that can give them tools to deal with the issues life brings. As for Jerad, he has grown into a very kind, sweet, and stable adult. I see him from time to time. I look into his eyes and only see a smile now. The Talmud has a saying, “He who saves one life, saves the world entire.” I don’t know if these lessons have saved any lives, but I know they have positively impacted many lives because former students come back to thank me for the life lessons they continue to use.

Lisa Barry teaches at Woodridge Elementary (Alamo Heights, Texas). She has been a Texas State Finalist for Teacher of the Year. Lisa has received several awards including the Humanities Texas Julius Glickman Educational Leadership Award and the HEB Excellence in Education Lifetime Achievement Award. She is married with two children and three grandchildren. 

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